it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I touched a dick in church today
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
