either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
