She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
