Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The Olympian is in my bed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
