We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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