I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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