she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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