hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
