Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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