I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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