he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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