Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
