I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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