This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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