gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
