I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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