I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
