So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
