I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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