Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
