she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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