AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
