I just saw a hot homeless man
wat bout pragnant strippers??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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