Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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