It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
