i just google imaged poop.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
