I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
