Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
