Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
