Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
