I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize