Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
