C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My cat gives me a boner
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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