3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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