If i come over, it means nothing
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
