Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
