I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize