My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
