I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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