You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
