I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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