i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
