Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
