You work out of a Hotel?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
