I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
How external is "for external use only"?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
