My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
