i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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