Me too!
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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