I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
