So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
