Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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