they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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