I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
