5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
