You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
