we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize