Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
