covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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