It's Friday. Sex?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
