the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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