Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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