We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
