Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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