I faked an abortion last night.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
