She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
