I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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